Don't Give Up
* Aug. 27th, 2009 at 12:33 AM
I looked at the clock. It showed half past nine. What's going on!? I thought. Father and mother said that they will be home by 9 o'clock. I felt awful. Did something go wrong? Did the plane crash? Did mom and dad get robbed? I stopped myself from thinking further.
I tried to dial dad's number, but my effort was to no avail. I tried mom's number too, and I didn't get through. I began to panic. What am I supposed to do? my mind screeched. Taking a sip of coffee, I turned the TV on.
At first, I was flipping through channels as there were nothing interesting, until I came to channel 'BBC'. Something caught my attention. "......plane crash......just now......Air Asia Fly Emirates......". I sat on the couch dumbfounded. No, it can't be, I thought, until my phone rang.
I answered the call with fidgeting fingers. ''H-hello? Aunt Sarah?" I asked, wondering what she was up to at this time of the night.
"Hello? Prisca?'' Aunt Sarah said with a worried tone. "Were your parents in plane AK 3007? Can you check now?" She sounded really worried. I felt awful.
"Err, okay, I'll go check now. A minute please." I replied, trying to be calm.
I opened the notebook lid and clicked 'Internet Explorer', followed by 'History'. Getting through links, I found the link where dad and mom booked their flight tickets. "September 10th......Rome to Florence......" I mumbled to myself. "AK......3007......" My mind went blank.
I 'woke up' and grabbed the phone. Aunt Sarah was still on the phone. "Aunt......" I sobbed. "How could this happen!? This isn't real!!!" I screamed at the phone. "Now, stay calm Prisca, I'm on my way to your house now, stay calm, ok?"
My eyes wandered restlessly around my room. I was petrified, horror-struck. I felt like my whole world shattered, just like that. One week ago, my mom was still cuddling me, chatting about our holiday plans, and now they are gone, I thought. My parents were dead. I had to accept the fact that they were already gone.
Gideon, my 10-year-old brother came into my room. "What's wrong, sis?" he asked innocently. I hugged him. I hugged him tightly. Why did God take my parents away from me!? Had I done anything wrong?
"Now Gideon, Aunt Sarah will be visiting us. So dress up nicely, ok?" I stammered.
He ran to his room without hesitating. How is he going to learn the truth later?, I thought. Poor kid......
I wore my favourite T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Looking at the mirror, I tried to smile, telling myself "It's not that bad.", and great drops fell from my eyes. But I got to be strong. I'm now on my own, it's a fact I could never change, I thought.
The house bell rang. Aunt Sarah came in, her eyes brimming with tears. I ran to her, like a kid running to a candy vendor, and I wrapped my arms around her. "I know, Prisca. It's horrible." I just sniffled.
We sat in the living room. Aunt Sarah dropped the bombshell to Gideon and he burst into tears.
Looking at my family photo, my tears fell. It was taken just a month ago. Dad was sitting on a chair, wearing his blue checkered collared shirt with the tie I gave him during his last birthday, mom was sitting too, with her angelic smile, wearing her yellow blouse with her white skirt, I was standing at the back with Gideon, my left arm around his shoulders. I was wearing a pink dress and Gideon wore his favourite Mickey Mouse T-shirt and jeans. Everyone was beaming from ear to ear.
I suddenly felt that I really had nothing left. What for the money left? What for the house left? What for the car left? They were meaningless, lifeless stuff. I wanted nothing but my parents. Devastated, I stared at the photo.
I felt like I had endless stuff to tell my mom. How I wished magic existed so I could make dad and mom appear in front of me. I wanted to hold them tight in my arms and never let them go. I wanted to......
Everything went black. A few meters away stood my dad and mom, smiling ravishingly under a ray of light. I dashed towards them without a second thought. When I almost touched them, they suddenly disappeared. I fell down on my buttocks, and the clouds in my mind let loose their turbulent nature.
Suddenly, I heard "Prisca, you need to be strong, I love you very much, but you have to wake up and take care of Gideon. Aunt Sarah will settle things for you, darling."
"Mom? But how could I live without you, and dad? Can't you come back? Please! Don't die!" I went hysterical, looking everywhere for the 'voice'.
"I love you, Prisca. But, can you just wake up?"
"What do you mean 'wake up'? Can you come back?" I sobbed. "Please, just come back!"
"Please, Prisca, just wake up......"
I opened my eyes and saw Aunt Sarah with her worried face. "Finally you've awaken, Prisca. You fainted just now, luckily I managed to catch you." Aunt Sarah said softly, rolling her fingers in between my hair.
Aunt Sarah took me to bed and said that Gideon was already in bed. She kissed my forehead and turned off the lights, saying that she had to go to look after Gideon for the night.
I stared at the ceiling. A ray of moonlight was shining into my window. I wondered what happened just now.
I started to reminisce, about all the places I had gone to with dad and mom, all the little, little talks we had had, all the little fights we had...... This is all wrong, I thought, and I made a decision. A bad decision, that was to kill myself, so that I could once again, be with my parents in the 'afterlife world'.
I held the knife up high in the air.
"Dad, mom, if you're not coming back, then I'm coming for you!" I said to myself. "Here goes......"
As I began to let go of the knife so that it could fall right onto my wrist, someone pushed my hand hard. It was Aunt Sarah. She held my arms tightly, as if compressing my arms with all her strength, it was so tight that my arms hurt.
I just cried. All I wanted was to have my parents back. "How could God treat me this way? How could God take away my parents from me? This is all God's fault!" I screamed at Aunt Sarah.
"Now, nobody wanted it to happen, Prisca. If this is fate, it is fate. You can't blame God. You still have me, alright? Don't worry...... You still have me, your favourite aunt, remember? Don't give up. Just don't give up. Be strong, Prisca." she spoke as if she spoke with all her heart.
We both cuddled each other as I sniffled. "Don't give up, just don't give up." I told Aunt Sarah. She smiled, and I smiled back.
Mom, dad, don't worry, I thought. I'm going to live well, I'm going to be strong and I won't give up. I smiled towards the sky and sat on the field with Aunt Sarah, looking at the beautiful sky.
correction by Hudacik
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